My new business plan.

This is a topic which I had been long thinking of posting, I try to make a swipe at the Business of religion that's booming in the country at a much more rapid pace than the IT/ITes industry. Sadly, since the business is run by babalogs who are revered by the politicians there's no record of the amount of money that these bablog's dupe the poor of. They come in different shapes and forms, some preaching to be gods themselves and others claiming to be the medical version of God, of which the most popular one currently is a man with a stye in the eye which he cannot cure and who's omnipresent - half nude - whichever channel you surf. So comes this satiristic post on the bablogs which I had posted on the FUKAT blog.


In my discussions with some of my friends on their career and professional choices, one of the best comments came from a sports racer, not sure if it was his original though, The best business to be in, in this country are Sports, Bollywood and Politics for sure, but there is one thing that's on top of these three and that's religion.

Yes I said religion, one would ask business being a religion, why not just take a look around the country. I assume the maximum number of tourists that this country entertains are on religious or spiritual quest and the exoticism that the western writers have attached to the east certainly has a major role in it.

Coming back to the business plan, Over a cup of evening coffee one of my friend and colleague decides he wants to be God or more rightly put a Godmen. Now the thoughts turn to finding a suitable business plan and I for once readily agree to play a second fiddle by being the marketing manager for the "Baba". Since baba's are supposed to be the one who renounce the world atleast in front of the general public, this job wasn't for me and that explains my choice.

We quickly narrowed down to our clientele which certainly would be the rich class, yeah we can manage to entertain the upper middle class too, but you know they don't brin in that kinda dough. The most important target audience would be the firangs though, you know the a dollar and pound is 45/80 times more than the rupee. Well before you might think we are all for money I should clarify this is the business of spiritual guidance for the mortal souls, wretched and other wise, who have undegorne the travesty of humanely life, troubled by inhuman acts of depraved souls. Now don't ask the meaning of all that, that's for the baba to explain.

The most important aspect has to be the baba, he has to be an attractive personality, generating positive vibes and able to bond people quickly. So our would be baba is a sauve, young gentleman with military training and with the ability to bond with people. Recently some xyz devi came in his dream to inform that he is the chosen one and should alleviate the troubles of the miserly souls of this earth.

The only trouble is that our would be baba is going to UK for 6 months, yeah I know that was a certain party pooper, but this has come as even a bigger opportunity as our baba can start our right from the place where are clients reside that way they would save on travelling cost to India. Hope I move to UK soon, you know without good marketing managers like me the baba can never acheive great business or sorry I meant following.

So what say people, what do you think of the plan. All suggestions good or bad are welcome, kyun ki sab maya hai.

Grand OLD Tiger, where's the roar

Once upon a time there was so called "Tiger", who lived in the concrete jungle called the city of dreams - Bombay. He recruited a bunch of hoodlums and who would create a riotous situations and brought the city to a halt, every time he roared. Time passed by and after a couple of riots in major cities of the state, the so called "Tiger" managed to acquire power along with the so called party with difference, which he ran through a couple of proxy CM's.

More time passed by, he became frail and old and the one of hoodlums refused to accept his authority and parted ways joining the grand old party and alter its offshoot, another one parted ways claiming the so called "Tiger" is promoting his so called incompetent "cub" over him. The departure of hoodlums who were the mainstay of power that he wielded weakened him from the core and now sent explicit threats to him.

More was yet to come as one of the so called "Tiger's" very own ditched him for the same reason the second hoodlum had left. He went ahead to form his own party managing to break a big chunk of youth leaders, this certainly seemed to be the final blow to the party which the old man had created. He could see the effort of his lifetime crumbling in front of him but the love of his so called incompetent cub kept him away from taking any curing measure. Now whenever the so called "Tiger" tried to roar what came out best was a whine, the Grand old man who liked to rule with an iron hand has mellowed down and lost his glory.

The reason why I am talking all this at this point of time in Indian politics is that the reservation controversy is at its peak even after going on for almost two months. The person who seemed to shoot his tongue on every conceivable topic and especially if it was against the minorities or the dalits whom he openly scorned and threatened to throw them out of the state(at least the minorities), seems conspicuous by his quite on the reservation controversy. He and his party have maintained a stoic silence on the issue in their own state, although their Delhi unit which is of no political significance initially did support the doctors and students.

The other reason is just being an analysis on the future of the party, which had a militant and flamboyant past. The militancy in its ways still remains, but more in terms of threats than action but the flamboyance is gone. The so called "Tiger" although being nothing less than a figure of scorn for me, but I admired his flamboyant ways with which he wielded power and especially his administrative skills which is evident by the way he organised his party, although the whole concept was borrowed from the Sangh Parivar.

There seems to be a distant chance of the party reaching power again or even hold on its own, I am not saying that because it lost two elections in the state. By that standard even the BJP can be categorized in the same league, but I think the BJP still has some fire left and can claw back in the next election. As far for the old man's party such possibility looks bleak and if that happens it would only enforce the truth of history, one man armies go down with the founder.

The code doesn't make a crackle.

This Sunday I miss the YFE rally at Azad Maidan on insistence of my dearest friend and watch Da Vinci code. Well, the movie can be easily termed as one of the most controversial movie of all times and with the kind of thrill that the book created for the reader, too much was expected out of it. And that is the reason the movie falls short of providing any kind of thrill or entertainment, atleast for the ones who have read the book. The biggest strength of the movie- the book - becomes its biggest failing, There's no thrill and excitement left in a movie when you know exactly what's gonna happen next especially if the sole selling point it has is to make shocking revelations to captivate your attention.

On all this add direction which looks amateurish to say the least, dialogues yes these are really don't pack any punch. One fact that no Da Vinci Code reader can deny is that though being a thrilling adventurous story, it was a badly written book with run of the mill dialogues, The makers of the movie did have a chance of improving on that but chose otherwise. The result a badly made movie, with bad direction, unclear roles, badly crafted scenes where it seems that the director is assuming the viewers would have read the book so need for buildup the scene or explain it at at any point.

The movie stars one of my most favorite actors, Tom Hanks, but sadly the kind of role he has been assigned there is nothing at all for him to do. The "different" look makes him look tired & bored from the start and it seems he's been forced to work throughout the movie. Sure great actors make some bad choices and for Hanks this would be rated as one of them as Mela for Amir and probably Fanaa too(haven't watched it though). The role of Silas, Aringarosa and Fache are the better played ones and look better than Hanks and as for Audrey she surely looks dispensable, where she could had been the greatest strength for the movie.

The movie has been a hit from day one as was expected with all the controversy and obviously the kind of readership that the book got and would surely make a lot of money, but for the history it would only be remembered for those reasons and not its quality. It doesn't even come near to be a very good movie forget being a classic.

For the buff who haven't read the book and wanna know what the fuss is all about, read the book instead it would be more exciting and thrilling. For those who lack time to waste on the book go for the movie instead and for those who have read the book and enjoyed it, it's a sure miss, unless you have nothing to do on a weekend.